How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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