I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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