well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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