You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
