Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
