I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she smelled like a LAN party
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
