Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
