Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
