His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
