Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
