Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
