You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
