Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
