Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
