and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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