I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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