I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
