My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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