talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
