I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
