For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
