You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
