Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
