so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
