who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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