I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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