Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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