I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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