apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
