Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
