i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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