i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
