D3 body, D1 cock
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
