i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
