so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
