Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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