I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
