She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
