I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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