Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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