you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize