you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I AM VODKA MAN
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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