Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
