we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
