He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
