Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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