Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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