Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
