Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
