Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just pee around me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize