dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize