it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
