I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
