It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize