The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
