a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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