I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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