So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
