College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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