I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize