Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
