I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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