you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
