one two three fourrrrnication!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
