i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
