Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
