Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
