I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My dick has a subreddit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
