I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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