Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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