Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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