i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
