I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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