Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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