so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize