I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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